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A Simple Trick to Reduce Parenting Battles - When, Then

  • Are you tired of battling with your children trying to get them to help out around the house?
  • Or get them ready in a timely manner?

Well the When Then statement may be a perfect tool for you to use.

This statement says “when you do [this positive behaviour], then you will get [this positive social reward].

For example:

 ✔️When you wipe the dishes then you can have your technology time.⁠

✔️When you clean your room then you can go to your friend's place.⁠

✔️When you finish the morning routine then we can play any game you want together.⁠

 Instead of:⁠

❌ You won't get technology time if you don't do the dishes⁠

❌ You won't get to go to your friend's house if you don't clean your room⁠

❌ We won't get to play if you don't get ready in the morning⁠

 

The when-then sentence gives your child a choice about how they want to behave. It's phrased in a positive way that is aimed at achieving a positive result. 

I know personally when I use this on my children I find it empowering and a positive way to speak to children without conditions. They know once they complete the unfun tasks such as dishes then they can do the fun activities.⁠

Lastly, it is a great life lesson we all have experiences where we need to get something done before doing the fun tasks. ⁠

Bonus Tip - I sometimes use this with friends also (when we go to the gym and complete a workout then we can have a glass of wine) or at work when we finish project X then we will celebrate with a dinner.

Photo by Zan on Unsplash

Please share a when, then routine that you will use with your children.⁠

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